The War On Moms by Other Moms Is It 50/50 or Not?

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I hear frequently on blogs, in person, and in various articles on how there is a war on Moms. Again this morning HuffPost had an article again about ending the war. And supposedly how this war is created between Moms making each other feel inadequate for various reasons whether it be because they work, feed formula or buy their baby food off the shelf yatta yatta.

I had a marketing consultant tell me how sad she felt when I wanted to have onsies made for my BIB campaign that said “Friends don’t let friends drink formula.” It was a take on shirts my husband I have that say “Friends don’t let friends drink white Zinfandel.” She went on to discuss how for medical reasons she wasn’t able to Breastfeed and how my t-shirt would target those women and make them feel bad. Women who can’t Breastfeed for physical/medical reasons are not the target of that at all and they should know that all the talking about breastfeeding is not aimed at them. I mean seriously, there is not a Mom out there who is going to fault someone who cannot physically produce milk, feed or are on meds that are not compatible with breastfeeding.

BUT there is a war on Moms. I understand that…a little. What I don’t understand is why Mommies let it happen. What do I mean? Lets look at the battle grounds: working or not working moms, baby food making, cloth diapers, home schooling, and of course the breastfeeding battle. Lets talk about the battles and where there are any “winners” or “losers.”

Battle #5.)Working Mama vs. Stay-At-Home Mom: I am a working Mom and I don’t feel bad about that. My kids get what they need and we chose the nanny route so that when my husband and I are home working or off during the week we could enjoy our children during the day. I’m confident in that choice though a stay-at-home Mommy might think my choice is bad, well I like what I do for work and since I can have the best of both worlds I do. I’ve had people shocked that I would go back to work, but it works for US and I don’t feel like my kids miss anything and I get some adult interaction every day. Healthy for both parties. Those of you able to stay home, I am envious but I also know it comes with its own challenges so I see both sides very clearly. Sure I’d love to stay home, but I don’t take offense when another Mom talks about how good it is that she is home. The working Mom struggles to find enough quality time and they question daycare choices they make etc. The Stay-At-Home Mom struggles with finding adult interaction and when is it necessary to make sure their kids have enough “social interaction.” All in all I think this one is a tie. Score: 50/50

Battle #4.) Baby Food Making vs. Buying Packaged Baby Food: Well I don’t look down on another Mom for choices here and I don’t know why there is a war. I try to always feed organic and healthy cereal with low sugar etc. But some things aren’t available in organic all the time and there is organic baby food on the shelves (but I don’t use it). I personally wanted to save money and it is one way I can try to avoid cancer and disease causing pesticides etc. I can make and freeze all of my newborn’s food she will need for the first three months of eating when she does begin trying foods, in a matter of a couple hours. This way baby food is on hand and by reusing containers I’m helping the earth too. So it’s not your thing? I’m not going to wage a mommy food war on you but if you’re shoving sugary cereals, fruit juice and McDonalds down your kids throat I’m gonna tell you, ummm yeah that’s not great parenting and you’re setting your kids up for health issues. And before anyone gets huffy that doesn’t mean the parents who treat their kids McDonalds I’m talking about the parents that consistently feed it to their kids because they’re too lazy to make a PB&J and slice the apple themselves. Truly save your pocketbook and the calories and everyone’s health and learn a few crock pot recipes for busy days. This is where I’m not going to make some hard working Mom feel better about bad choices just because they say their “doing their best.” Buy better foods and learn a few recipes, you owe your kids that. In general though when it comes down to the score on baby food because we don’t know enough about whether packaged is “bad” per se (because it is baby food which has a higher standard) I’m going to Score: 50/50. If I had to lean one direction or another I’d make it 60/40 in favor of Moms doing it organic.

Battle #3.) Homeschooling vs. public schooling vs. private schooling. This one is a dumb topic to debate. Education is about what you do with it. If you are a parent not willing to be involved with your kids and teach them that school is the most important thing they will do in their lives, well then I cannot help you. But if you want to homeschool them, man, if you’ve got the time God Bless ya, I don’t. Public schools you can take what you want and be proactive. And private schools, if you have the dough, more power to you it certainly isn’t going to affect your kids health, my insurance costs, or the environment so have at it whatever your choice. The important thing is that you get them to that high school diploma and set the standard for college. If you do that then it doesn’t matter what route you go its 50/50/50: wait that equals 150%…well, education IS important!

Battle #2.) Cloth Diapers vs. Disposable Diapers: If you’ve chosen the laborous method of cloth diapers I’m glad you’ve decided to be the martyr if you chose this option to wage a war on. Disposable Diapers don’t cause cancer or illness (as of right now) though they do not break down in the environment well. BUT Mrs. Altruistic pointing this out forgot how to mention how much water it takes to clean her cloth diapers therefore also damaging the environment. (Actually was in an article by Whole Living last year and cloth came out “slightly” ahead). So I have no idea why there is a war on this topic neither get an A+ if we are looking at the environmental role. BUT if you are using cloth diapers on that tiny toosh I’ll give you some street cred and Score 60/40 in favor of cloth. I don’t use cloth diapers FYI because I have no where near the patience. I stopped feeling guilty about that after reading the Whole Living article…

Battle #1.) Breastfeeding vs. Formula (otherwise known as the big elephant in the room or in other words the Big Boob in the room) I am passionate about breastfeeding AND it seems to be the biggest war. Those of you who know me know I have an opinion on this. If you’re not going to Breastfeed (and you can) that is your deal, but you should know the facts about breastfeeding. It is NOT the same. And that is where I get upset. Some Moms want me to say formula is an equal substitute. For those who need to use formula it is great we have that alternative but no one can look at you with a straight face and say its the same. Research demonstrates this, statistics on infants health even prove this. So if breastfeeding in public or talking about it makes you feel insecure about your choice then maybe you should evaluate your choice because that is your choice and another woman shouldn’t have to “cover up” to make you feel better. I don’t like this battle but its ongoing and it won’t stop until Moms can admit to each other that there is a choice that is better. If you’re a formula feeding Mom then be confident in that choice and we breastfeeding Moms have no problem with that. What we do have a problem with is when formula is said to be the “same” as breast feeding and its not. And then there are the breastfeeding Moms that are extreme, nursing toddlers while pregnant, or up to 5 years of age. Nursing to an extreme and shoving that in someone’s face is wrong too. But just breastfeeding vs. formula in general, I have to give it a Score of 80/20 in favor of breastfeeding because they are not equal. Sorry formula Mommies, I know this upsets you and I’m not targeting Moms without choices, but I’d say 80% of us also have choices and 20% don’t…those who don’t is why formula is here, to help them and I’d bet over half of those Moms wish they could nurse.

So all in all, we do wage a war on ourselves but why I don’t know. What I do see though are Moms that make bad choices that want to justify it with the cliché “I’m doing the best I can…” Or to tell someone that feeding their kids fast food 4x a week is as good as the Mom who finds time to make even a turkey and cheese sandwich. No one is asking anyone to be a gourmet chef, have a garden or be a cow. But for some of us making good decisions and striving to do better, if we make you feel insecure then you should consider why. We shouldn’t have to apologize for the facts. But we also pick stupid topics like a couple I mentioned above like how to school them. If they graduate that’s what counts. Now, if we were comparing Moms who encourage and discourage school that might be different, but come on who’s going to admit they’re that Mom-right?

Try to be kind, listen to each person’s story, but we also have to admit to ourselves that there are differences too. Mrs. Cloth Diaper, I envy your patience, Mrs. homeschooling-wow, you are SMART, and Mrs. Stay-At-Home Mom, lucky bum, your kids will remember you always being there. BUT, I am Mrs. Breastfeeding, Mrs. Baby Food Maker, Mrs. Private Schooling, Mrs. Disposable Diaper, and Mrs. Working but at Home mostly Mommy. I’m proud of all of it and even those that might be shortcomings to some of you. Maybe I settled the score, maybe I didn’t but maybe we can all find it in our hearts to just not make it a war.

Peace,
ONM

The BIB Campaign: scheduling your baby

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The most common thing I hear from women not considering breastfeeding even past the 6 weeks they are off of work is that “it’s too hard with my job.” Even more often from these women I hear that they haven’t read or done any research on why to breastfeed longer than 6 weeks or if at all. Today I’m going to talk about the importance of breastfeeding, how to manage it with work, and what the general guidelines are for exclusively breastfeeding.

The Facts and Guidelines:Did you know that both the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and World Health Organization (WHO) recommend breastfeeding exclusively for the first 6 months? Only at six months do they recommend introducing (complimentary) solid foods and still recommend continued breastfeeding for the first year.

The above definitely shows that introducing solids at 4 months is no longer the recommendation. In addition to that its “complimentary” to introduce them. This goes into giving solids which I will open into a full discussion at a later time. But the bigger point here is A.) breastfeeding is the recommendation over formula and B.) solids shouldn’t be a substitute but a compliment. Why you ask?

The Health outcomes of infants breastfed exclusively for six months, according to the AAP is improved immunity, less ear infections and less gastrointestinal diseases just to name a few. Visit American Academy of Pediatrics for their full article. It also notes that SIDs risk is reduced by more than 30% and adolescent and adult onset of obesity is reduced anywhere from 15-30%. This where I ask myself, “why wouldn’t someone want to try to do that for their child?” And I’ve asked it aloud to several people and I get a blank stare as if the answer requires some sort of degree.

However, half the time I do get a response that either someone couldn’t for medical/physical reasons (which I totally understand and that is not someone’s fault) but the other half tell me “it’s too hard” or “my job isn’t conducive to it” etc.

I will never understand the “it’s too hard” reason. Isn’t it hard to make sure you always have formula and bottles and distilled water to go everywhere? Isn’t it hard when the formula is recalled and you’ve been feeding it to your kid for 6 months? Isn’t it hard to know what is best on their tummy? Isn’t it hard to board a plane and have to juggle a bottle mid flight or on take offs and landings if your baby won’t sleep? I could go on and on but you get my point.

I have pumped in the car, on a plane, in a clients empty office and in an airport restroom. I have transported 5 days worth of milk 160 oz of milk through security…all needing to be checked. And most of all I have sat at my desk and pumped every day for 9 months (because the first three I was home) to give Orion the very best and because that “wasn’t too hard.” And mostly because I “scheduled it”.

Scheduling is the most important part of the puzzle and it fits like clockwork in your day. When I went back to work the first time Orion nursed roughly at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm and then 7pm. Then when he finally spaced out to 4 hours it was 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm. So usually I pumped at 11am and 3pm, everyday like clockwork and on weekend I nursed or pumped whichever was most convenient.

Still I hear “I can’t pump at work.” Did you know your employer has to allow you time to pump and give a private place to do so? Yup! And if you’re a person that only needs to pump 10-15 min to get 8oz, well that is less time than the average person takes for a smoke break. So while you might feel like you can’t ask, think about Joe Schmo who just took an extended cigarette break, who will probably get lung cancer and then cost the company more money on insurance…EXACTLY!!!

I think a lot of women are also embarrassed to ask and have a conversation basically about their breasts. It is awkward, I’ll admit, especially if you have a male boss BUT they have to help you succeed within reason.

Also, don’t talk to a stay-at-home Mom about this unless they “schedule” their kids daily routine because you’ll feel defeated before you start. They of course can nurse anytime they’d like, or at least more flexibly and most do not pump if they don’t have to. It’s not that they can’t help you, they just might not know how.

I once attended a Le Leche meeting, hoping to learn about weaning and possibly volunteer with the organization. I walked in in my business work attire because I had a meeting after. But you’d think I had three heads walking in without my baby on my hip ready for a group breast feeding expedition. They are not there to support the working Mom at all and that was made very clear.

Le Leche supports only breast feeding, not even pumping, and half the room nursed a toddler while being pregnant and continued to nurse their toddler even when baby arrived. Ummm, I do draw the line somewhere…but I’m digressing…

The point is that if I were a working Mom trying to figure it out I would’ve felt so incompetent walking into that room if I already hadn’t been making pumping work and wasn’t confident in my decisions for Orion who was already 15 months.

So I see the problem many women face, they think its all or nothing. I had a conversation with a teacher once who adamantly said she could not pump at school. I said, ok, if truly thats the case then why wouldn’t you consider putting the baby (she doesn’t have kids yet but wants them) on a schedule where you can nurse him/her in the morning and at night? Her response astonished me-she said, “how can I just nurse twice a day without pumping?”

See this is where women do not understand what their bodies are capable of. You can nurse just twice a day, of course! Now if you go back to work after 6wks, you’ll need to pump at first to avoid being in pain while the milk regulates during the day, but you’d need to do that anyhow if you we’re stopping that early to avoid engorgement. Do not take the medication that “dries up your milk.” Some breast milk is better than none, and us always better than formula.

All in all it is always better to be able to give baby some breast milk if possible and scheduling can help you do that. Babies are happiest on a routine they say and it can help you succeed too!

Message or email me with questions about your challenges or share your success story with the rest of us!

Happy Breatfeeding!
ONM

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Top 5 Ways to spot a 2nd time Mommy

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So I made this nice little list because I find it slightly comical the things that change when you’re a parent the second time. Things that would completely unnerve a first time Mom doesn’t even phase the second time Mom.

1.) The Baby Cries and You Barely Flinch: remember first time around? You looked like an olympic sprinter dashing through the house at any sign of slight distress. Heaven forbid the baby use his lungs a little. This time around, husband calls from room: “Hey Baby is crying.” To which you respond, “she’s fed and changed, she’s just fussy, Ill get there in a minute but you CAN pick her up if you want.” (Hubby picks her up…as you meander in)

2.) Baby’s wardrobe consists of sleepers: I will agree with the guy who asked who made over the head baby clothes for a newborn? Yeah that cute zebra onsie with the ruffled pants made it a whole 5 minutes until she had a blow out and I had to change her and get that thing back over her head—back to sleepers. And who said blue isn’t the new PINK??? That sleeper from your brother looks girly to me?! Lets just slap a bow on it and call it a day if we get company.

3.) Bumps, bruises or scratches-”Oh You’re Fine!”: first time around every bump and bruise you’re running to their side to be sure to kiss that “boo-boo” and make it better. If you are fortunate to have a boy first they desensitize you before #2 even arrives, and you may even own protective head gear and a mouth guard-and not for them but for yourself. A couple of trucks to the good ‘ole skull, or a clunk of the head straight onto the bridge of your nose will teach you how cute giggles and rough housing is-NOT! I know a woman who told me she’d already had two broken noses before her boys were 5…yup parenting is hazardous. Like being in a trench with an M-80 aimed at your head.

4.) From Shhhh, the baby is sleeping; To Vacuuming while baby is trying to lay down for nap: first time around you worry about every noise. Baby MUST sleep! Don’t close a door, let your phone ring or vacuum. Second time parents learn the travesty that occurred if they did this first time around and they now have a toddler that awakes if you whisper from three rooms away. Second time around they try to keep consistent daily noises on just so the baby gets use to them like vacuuming, blow dryers, washers etc. and even the high pitched squeals from your toddler is welcomed.

5.) You stop caring about “how” someone does something for baby and you’re just happy someone else helped: when you’re a first time parent and if you are anywhere near OCD you probably almost blew a gasket if the baby wasn’t swaddled the way you wanted it or if she wasn’t rocked to sleep just so. With baby #2 you welcome any and all help no matter the form because you realize that you only have two arms and something has got to give. Unless you are a rare breed of 4 armed woman. This also applies to someone preparing food in your kitchen and what it is they are preparing. If you didn’t make it its the best s* on earth because you didn’t have to make it. This includes pizza and any and all take out…organic in that moment goes completely out the window!

#6-The Bonus: if you’re a breastfeeding Mom you do not care second time around what anyone thinks: First time around you’re cautious. You check the temperature of the room and gage whether to bust a boob out and you’re completely embarrassed if you start lactating through your shirt if you forget your bra pads. Second time around you exert your right to bust out a boob when you get the chance because it means your toddler is occupied and you can feed the baby. And lactating through your shirt? Imagine rockin out to PitBull in your mini van and you’re lactating through your shirt and you don’t even know it?! Someone pass the Kahlua please, I’ve got some cream to go with it….geez.

As you can see 2nd times around is quite the adventure still in different ways but none the less soak it up and enjoy! It goes much too quickly.

Peace,
ONM

Settling In-Olivia 1 month old

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Whew! Three whirlwind weeks of visitors is on the pause button as Nana and Papa Gary (he came for the weekend!) wrapped up a three week visit which started the day Olivia was born while Papa Tim was visiting too! All I can say is that the help was awesome, the delivery crazy and my house is now put together and decorated.

My Mom was able to bless us with a 3 week visit since Chris really couldn’t take much time off of work if he wants to take any fall or winter vacations or time off when his family visits so Mom filled in the gaps and thank goodness! Daily visits to the lab and doctor doesn’t leave much time for a new Mama to nap much less picking up groceries. So the system: drop Mom at the store with a list, go to the lab for blood draw and then pick her up after.
Then we actually made a menu for the week so we could stop running.

Week three brought with it the interior decorator stylings of my Mom and all of my “new” rooms are finished. I’m certain she was a decorator in a previous life and she seriously could make money as a consultant. She started speaking terms like symmetry vs texture and themes…I get part of it but I second guess myself too often.

And week 4. I dreaded it as my Mom was leaving, Orion was having daily meltdowns over any of us leaving the house and Chris had his awful closing shift week, which means he works til 11pm the majority of the week…Ouch! In other words the most challenging week I could have was my first week alone with both kids in the evening-the bewitching hours!!!

Well I survived it, and actually it is now Chris’ best week with his Sunday, Monday and Friday off! And selfishly I’m glad everyone is gone this week as we get quality family time together this week because he’s also home by 5pm the days he does work. Today we had brunch together after a family walk and then got the kids down for naps, spent time by the pool together and when Orion woke up Chris took Orion swimming and I got dinner ready.

In other words, we’ve begun to dance! And what I mean is falling into our roles as a team with both kids, and though our evening consisted mostly of focusing on the two we laughed our butts off all day about funny things we haven’t been able to catch up on the last few whirlwind weeks.

It’s nice to just be together, catch our breath and relax into our new addition to the family. So if I could toast a glass to Chris right now, I’d say thanks Hun for making Olivia’s 1st month anniversary a great day to “settle in”! Love ya!

Peace,
ONM

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BIB Campaign 2013: the first weeks

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It’s easy to forget the first days of breastfeeding if you nursed your previous child past 6 months. I nursed Orion for 19 months and when I stopped I didn’t go through an adjustment period so I really forgot those early days.

The Latch:it shouldn’t hurt when they are nursing.For specifics on latching read Breastfeeding:The Latch.

Sore Nipples: here are the items I swear by to help but the biggest thing to remember is that you will have to grin and bare it for the first two weeks or less until your nipples “toughen up.” But to ease some of your pain try these things: have lanolin on hand, super soft disposable breast pads; I like Lansinoh the best, if you don’t leak a lot I like Medela’s washable cloth pads, and Medela’s hydro gel pads are all my favorites. I also made sure I took these items to the hospital in my bag because if you end up there 48 hours plus your nipples will be sore and the hydro gel pads will relieve in between feedings.

Other things to help? Don’t use soaps on your breasts in shower as it dries the skin out and makes them more sore. Don’t go without pads in your bra, as breast milk can make your nipples stick making them more painful. Try squeezing milk out and around the nipples before baby latches as breast milk itself will sooth sore nipples.

Engorgement:WOW-is all I can say this round. With my first I had engorgement but let down with a pump after one feeding and I was relieved. This time I had several days of engorgement and several days of not even being able to touch them without wincing in pain. Think I’m exaggerating? They were the size of cantaloupes literally. Put the baby next to them they were twice the size of her head!!!! That is insane AND it hurts.

What to do? Well, again there is some grin and bearing. I did pump twice after two feedings just until I felt relief. You don’t want to pump til empty or regularly at this point or your milk will continue to come in at that level. If you feel “knots” massage those areas while pumping and nursing to help relieve and release them.

The old wives tale of cold cabbage leaves really does provide relief, I stuffed them in my bra until they were warm to touch and then added new ones.

And finally, standing in a warm shower will provide relief. Let the warm water pelt your breasts softly, massage again “knotted” areas and be prepared for a leaky mess after you get out of the shower as it will relax the breast and nipples and you may drip so be sure to use your pads.

With my engorgement being so painful this time I even began to ignore the nipple pain. At two and half weeks they were “toughened” up and truly I rarely even use my lanolin but I always use my bra pads for as long as I nurse. They prevent embarrassing leakage moments and provide comfort.

If you are still have pain at the two and a half week point and are in a lot of pain contact your doctor. If you have a fever and pain at any point, contact you OB immediately to be sure it isn’t mastitis, which is an infection in the breast.

All in all, keep in mind “this too shall pass” and you’ll be on your way to successful breastfeeding!!!

Good Luck!
ONM

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Breast Is Best Campaign 2013

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This year I’m starting a campaign to build awareness for how important breastfeeding is for babies. It is called the “Breast Is Best 2013″ campaign.

They’ll be cute tees hopefully for sale soon to purchase and spread the message. In addition to that, I’ll be writing hopefully at least every other week on breastfeeding topics and challenges as I go through them with Olivia.

Ill talk about the first days, engorgement, hyper lactation and other issues that breastfeeding Moms face. In important to women to know the facts and hear things from other women who have been through it. It’s also important for women to make an informed decision about choosing to or not to breastfeed.

I nursed Orion for 19mos and my original goal was 12mos. Why so long? Well there Are many reasons ill get into why but I did work full time and traveled occasionally for work so I can definitely relate to the working Mom and help with understanding how attainable breastfeeding is even if you work!

Look out for themed discussions and onsies and t-shirts with our message soon!

Peace,
ONM

Advocating for you & your Baby post delivery

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Let me begin this post stating that this post is in no way medical advice as I do not have any medical training. The below is my story, and my experience only to hopefully help other Mothers know what questions to ask.

My first experience post delivery at Scottsdale Healthcare Shea was less than desirable. I couldn’t get the hospitals pediatrician to answer questions and my nurses were less than helpful with some if my post delivery care and especially that of Orion’s.

Knowing this I still returned for my second delivery because A.) I love love love my doctor and B.) their NICU is suppose to be one of the best should there be major complications with the baby.

I made sure that my nurses knew my first child was “Coombs positive” which in short version means that because I’m 0+ blood type and child born with a different blood type hemolytic breakdown can occur. Meaning my blood type attacks theirs until its out of their system and can create a worsened jaundice situation along with other complications but the jaundice has been the worst of ours.

With Orion we were re admitted to the hospital because I didn’t know enough to push the issue and take home a biliblanket. Thankfully, I did know this time and one of my awesome post partum nurses heard my concerns about their original recommendation to not put Olivia on a blanket to control her jaundice and got the hospital pediatrician on the phone right away. it resulted in actually putting Olivia on a blanket that evening! They sent us home with one also.

Because I knew enough about the markers that put my son at risk we were able to control her jaundice levels with the blanket and with follow up blood work with our pediatrician over the course of about a week and a half. It is a busy schedule going to a peds office and labs but Olivia was able to be at home and I was able to sleep somewhere more comfortable than a hospital couch! It’s not always the case and with Orion he was re admitted and put in an isolate with powerful lights because his bilirubin rebounded so high.

The most important reason I’m sharing my story is to push other parents to advocate for their children. Understand what doctors are telling you and ask questions if something doesn’t seem right. Doctors do the best they can but in our case they didn’t realize how severe of an experience out first was. And where other babies released may not have had issues I knew from our first experience that I needed to be on alert and let the physicians know what happened before.

Since I was able to know and understand more information this time my baby is happy, healthy and at home! I hope all Mommies can learn from my experience and ask questions when something doesn’t seem right!

Peace,
ONM

Olivia Has Arrived: Labor & Delivery

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She has arrived! Olivia Marie Born April 28th, 2013 at 7:39am, 7 lbs. 2oz., and 20.25 inches long. She is absolutely beautiful and we are both recovering well!

So here’s the birth story. Everyone I’m convinced has a unique delivery story and no matter how many people try to tell you what to expect or how much you read, you are never quite prepared. My first labor threw me into PIH ( Pregnancy Induced Hypertension) right at the time of delivery. I blew up like a balloon with fluid which was NOT fun but fortunately was managed effectively and I was able to avoid a c-section.

As for the birth of Olivia I tried my very best to ensure not quite as scary a delivery as Orion’s. I watched my blood pressure to be sure it wasn’t trending upward unsafely and made sure I worked out as long as could through first trimester to keep my weight gain in the normal (25-30lb) range instead of the 45 I gained with Orion.

Well successfully I DID avoid the PIH during the process. However, labor is a whole other story. Around 6pm in the evening while sitting in the backyard with my husband Chris, my Dad and Orion, I started to feel early contractions. We are an hour from where I needed to deliver so at 45 min I called our Nanny to see if she could stay with Orion.

We arrived at the hospital and I’d been having contractions for about two hours but was only dialated 2cm. So walking the halls we did. Still no progress but my contractions did not stop. So it’s around 1am and they tell me they’re going to give me an Ambian and send me home. I remind the nurse we live an hour from the hospital and she said, “yep, go home get some rest, you’re not in labor.”

Now, my Mom was sound asleep in Ohio because she was flying into Phoenix the next morning so it really didn’t even cross my mind to call her at this point. She is however an ex labor & delivery nurse and would have told me not to drive all the way back home right away on Ambien. Why? Because Ambien can either let you rest if its false labor OR actually throw you into full blown labor (hmmm the nurse failed to mention the latter)

So we get home (I’m out of it) and Chris puts me in bed and sends the Nanny home. Thirty minutes later (so he says, I thought more like 5 min but again I’m on Ambien) and I tell Chris we need to go to the hospital again and that its seriously labor.

So we call the Nanny back, my Dad decides to drive this round and Chris is with me in back while I’m having major contractions. I didn’t even wear my seatbelt as I was squatting and trying to relieve contractions. I probably looked like a dog as I was holding on to the back seat like a labor bar and trying to be ok. Oh WAIT! Then, I look at Chris and tell him I’m going to be sick.

Frantically he searched for something to vomit in. He found my Medela Baby Cooler (which will never be used again) and I am now vomiting in the back of the van between contractions.

By the time we reach the hospital and get in to labor and delivery I was 6 cm dialated and I told the girl I’m done and to send in an epidural. I’m not a fan but at least the anesthesiologist did a good job this time….well until I went to push.

My doctor walks in, in less than 3 hours I was full dialated and ready to go! I had one dead leg though from the epidural. My Doctor (who is really a no BS kind of gal, which I love) looks over at the nurse and says “do you think you could turn the epidural down maybe??? I mean she can’t feel her leg, how do you think she’s going to push?” I looked at her and said “ok, just tell me when the contraction comes and when to push and I will.”

She and the nurse said “ok we’ll try it.” Only two rounds of pushing and viola! Baby Olivia entered the world and I didn’t even need a stitch!!! Awesome!

So all in all with such a quick easy delivery the whole labor part wasn’t ideal but the end result is a beautiful baby girl we are so blessed to have!!!

Note to self this round: don’t drive home on Ambien if I truly think in in labor…sleeping in the car in the parking lot would have been much better…

Peace,
ONM

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37.5 weeks…um can I be done?

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Yes 37.5 weeks and really feeling “over it.” Everyone I see is saying “are you getting excited???” Ummm, well, the thought of my new precious daughter sure is exciting. 37.5 weeks pregnant? Not so exciting.

I’m sure I sound like a pessimist but I really truly never thought how much I’d miss rolling around on the floor or running in the back yard with Orion. I just feel plain bad when Chris works and I want to lay down vs play because I’m so uncomfortable. I don’t remember feeling this uncomfortable with Orion but then again all I had to do was be pregnant first time around.

So every time people ask if I’m excited, my response is that I’m excited to be done soon. And by soon I mean get through my work meetings that I have to and then lets go! I was so excited when my Doc said I was 50% effaced today just to know the end is in sight.

It’s funny I hate the blog out there where the one lady talks about kids not being all that great—which I totally disagree with, being a MOM rocks…but pregnancy on the second round…ummm NO!

They say you forget what labor was like, yes to a degree I do, but do I look forward to pushing the watermelon out? It is a means to an end. Oh wait, my exact words to my husband were, “after this pregnancy I’m done so if you want more we can adopt some poor children from China!”

Well of course when she arrives ill be over the moon but I do think the second time around because you now “know what to expect when you’re expecting”. The process is way less exciting especially when you are chasing a 2 year old…or in my case, not chasing anymore.

You also know its affecting your 2 year old when he climbs up on you, pulls up your shirt and says “Baby Stuck!” Which he says daily. Then today when I couldn’t do something with him he lifted my shirt and said “baby come out?” Haha…yes sweetie, we’d all like baby to come out!

So I leave you with this, 37.5 weeks, 50% effaced and I bet I go into labor on 4/27 IF i last that long. Just a hunch but ill be glad if I’m right! Orion will have his Mommy back and ill have a new beautiful baby girl to snuggle! Now that IS exciting :)

Peace,
ONM

Nanny Hunting, Daycare or Montessori-what to do?!

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I write this as an informational piece for anyone who has had to make the “child care” decision. As many of you know we lost our nanny because she had to move and so after 2 years we had to figure out what would be right for Orion, the new baby on the way and our family.

We debated and interviewed and debated some more. What IS best for our kids? Another Nanny, Montessori School, regular daycare/Goddard?

It was a grueling process really because we just didn’t have to worry about it at all with Orion but now it was all changing. So knowing we needed a back up plan if we didn’t find a nanny by our deadline, we started with the school/daycare options.

Montessori was the first. There are very few that are actually registered Montessori schools who abide by the curriculum and luckily this one took toddlers and infants. The setting though simple, was impressive. Teaching in a completely different environment than I grew up in and it was refreshing. So we liked the Montessori school.

Then there was Goddard, close to the house but much more of a daycare setting. Orion wouldn’t see the baby all day due to the room separation but the school was bright and energetic and definitely had great security measures. So we liked Goddard too.

However, there was a piece of my heart that said it just wasn’t right for MY kids. We had decided to have the second baby only two years separate of each other for big reasons, but most of which was so that they had bonding time before Orion was off to actual preschool.

I had so many friends that were like “oh the socialization is what he needs, blah blah blah.” Here’s the thing, my son having friends at the age of 2 vs the age of 3 is really not important to me and doubtful to him. Having time with the baby and being that “big brother” SO much more important. So we went on a nanny hunt.

The prospects were bleak at first, and we met our share of strange people during the process. One was so crazy we almost gave up and threw in the towel right then and there. What were we to do? Well, we decided we’d keep looking but Goddard was the back up if we couldn’t find someone in time. So the hunt continued…

We chose Goddard as the back up for a couple reasons for those of you thinking about the daycare-ish route. 1.) it was closer to us than the Montessori school 2.) convenient to go nurse the baby if I needed to, 3.) affordable and 4.) wouldn’t be too jarring for Orion if we move him to catholic preschool as soon as he is 3, which has always been the plan.

Though Montessori is an incredible method for kids and I really liked it, it would be a 30 minute drop off commute, and then most friends and family I knew who know more about this option had said once you go Montessori you really need to go all the way since it us such a different learning atmosphere, moving your child later could have negative affect on them. Well, we have already decided on catholic school for the kids sooo it didn’t make sense to go this route!

But back to the nanny route! We finally had a decent pool of candidates to choose from. A word to the wise, ALWAYS ask for thorough background checks on your applicants and if they plan to drive your child get a DMV check. Anyone who refuses you should be cautious of. That’s how we weeded one Mary Poppins out. She had seemed amazing until we said we weren’t comfortable with the driving part and she flipped out-very strange.

We continued to search and fortunately we have been blessed with a great gal who Orion adores and the search (for now) has ended. And as I head for maternity leave we will have all the help we need! And we learned we can get through adjustment periods and change with the kids which was I think our biggest fear. Thanks to our new Nanny we have a lot more confidence now!

How to find the right person if you go the Nanny route? Be specific with your criteria. Ask those who do not meet your criteria to NOT apply, this will weed out A LOT of people. Look for actual experience. Just because someone has “been around kids” or “helped raise their siblings” doesn’t always mean they are qualified. And last but not least know what you can pay them and although you might have a “range” be upfront. This will also weed out people who think they can just ask for some ridiculous amount.

If you want someone placed in your home to live then I encourage utilizing a service/agency who screens them for you and are usually considered “au pairs”. More expensive but are specifically trained for these needs.

Websites to use if you are taking matters in your own hands? Www.sittercity.com and www.care.com. Again, be thorough and get your background checks! Happy hunting!